Shame is an insidious emotion. It leaves us cutoff from wounded parts of the self that become despised and relegated to the shadows. Everything that shame touches is deflated in some way; shame leaves in its wake self-critical habits, poor self-esteem, negative self-comparisons, a sense of powerlessness, isolation, intense perfectionism, and a lack of vitality, spontaneity, and joy. 

Shame can be at the root of many anxiety and mood-related issues, relationship problems, and problems with procrastination. Shame can also result in self-sabotaging and addictive behaviors, like drug/alcohol abuse, compulsive sexual behavior, and other forms of acting out.

Psychotherapy works to heal shame by restoring the capacity for mindful, intentional connection as it occurs in the client-therapist relationship and in other relationships in the client’s life. Shame is overcome with a deliberate focus on what happens in the here-and-now in therapy to examine the various thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that arise with/about the therapist and with/about oneself.